We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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