i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I just found puke in my bra..
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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