i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
