do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
