and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
