You work out of a Hotel?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
