You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
nutella sex= disaster
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
