Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
