these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize