does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
