first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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