Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize