Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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