Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Randomize
