either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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