so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
