I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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