Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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