I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
