these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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