Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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