it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
