we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
