So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
