please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
