big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
