Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
