Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
