I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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