Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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