So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize