R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize