She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
