I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
