Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize