I faked an abortion last night.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
