And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
