WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
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