Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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