I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize