3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
