I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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