Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
