Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
