I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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