I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
