I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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