I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
