It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
We got so high we made milksteak
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
