but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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