So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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