Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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