ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
