what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
