so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
