So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
When are your genitals available?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
