Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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