That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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