i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize