The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
