How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
