I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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