i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
