so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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