My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
