you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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